Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you, it takes me all the way, I want you to stay

So my parents refuse to believe no matter how many times I tell them that my friends from high school weren’t the ones who negatively influenced me, that they were the culprits. They really weren’t. I hung around the wrong crowd during summer school in my younger days back when summer school in LAUSD was still a thing. They influenced me badly. I picked up on it and took it with me to the end of middle school and most of high school. It was my way of acting out as my way of dealing with other issues I was facing (Abuse, Bullying, Eating Disorders, etc.) If anything I was the bad influence, and had it not been for my friends, I would have never gotten out of half the shit I used to pull. I can honestly say I got my shit together, got into college and I’ve been on the Dean’s List since starting out as well as being actively involved on campus because these girls kept me grounded. They also taught me what real love is, and because of that I have an incredible man in my life now who makes me more weak at the knees than my arthritis does on a bad day lol. They taught me how to respect and love myself again after a dark period in my life where I would literally cry in misery every single day. My parents may be overbearing and try to control every aspect of my life, but there is no way in hell that they could ever tell me who my friends are. I love you psychotic bitches <3

2 weeks ago · 0 notes

When people bombard me asking me why I’d rather be alone all the time and why I don’t want a relationship or marriage or any of that garbage:
I’ve been alone my entire life. I got used to it. Everything I ever had to do in life was both the hard way and alone. Hell, I learned to start making my own food when I was 4 years old because my parents cared more about being parents towards my siblings. They figured I was their smartest kid and I’d figure it out on my own. Unfortunately they were right that I was able to figure out how to take care of myself. What they didn’t realize that no matter how intelligent a child is, neglecting them only fucks them up.

4 weeks ago · 0 notes

My entire life, I’ve always tried to maintain a relationship with the men in my life: My father, my brothers, my half-brother, and spent a few years trying to maintain a relationship with a man that did nothing but cause me pain and suffering. I’ve gotten to that point in life where I realized my relationship with my father will never be repaired regardless of what is said or done because the pain will always be there. I realized my brothers and I lead separate lives entirely and can never get along without a huge fight breaking out. I realized my half-brother has shut me out for nearly 10 years now and wants nothing to do with me. I realized the guy I pined after throughout high school and gave my heart and love to was a guy who wasn’t worth any of that. I acknowledge that I was abused physically, mentally and emotionally by a lot of the men in my life. That’s okay. I accept all of that entirely and can move on with my life in peace and without them. What I refuse to accept, however, is the ridiculous idea that I need a man at some point in my life. My mom constantly thinks I’m joking when I say I have no intentions of getting married, and I’d much rather go an alternate route when I’m good and ready to have kids. She will jokingly tell me if I have kids without a man in my life, she will refuse to accept them as her grandkids. Tonight when she gets home, I’m sitting her down and explaining to her how serious I am about my decision. We live in the 21st century, what I do with my life is my business, and if she really cares about me like she says she does, she’ll accept that. I don’t need to be like all the women in my family getting married and having kids young because it’s “expected” to do so. I’d rather live my life differently, and if I can accept everything that’s happened to me and say it’s alright, I can move on. My mom can accept my decision and say it’s alright, and move on. :-) #HopingForTheBest

1 month ago · 0 notes

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